This class has opened my eyes to many issues regarding gender, sexuality, race, equality, rights, and many other things that I have rarely taken the time to think about. Being a white woman in today’s world, I thought I had little to worry about and hardly any hardships to overcome; little did I know how far women still have to go. We talked about many things throughout the semester, but a few articles really caught my attention. These articles include: White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack by Peggy McIntosh, The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love by Bell Hooks, The Opt-Out Revolution by Lisa Belkin, Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher, and He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know by Jessica Valenti. Most of these articles focus on issues that come with being a woman, and since I have gone through similar experiences I was able to relate with them the most. Each one of these articles impacted me in some way, mostly they showed me new viewpoints and ideas that I would have never come across otherwise. After reading these articles, I found that society has a “social norm” for every aspect of life, and if you are white, black, male, female, young or old, a slut or stud, society tells you how you should act. Society tells us the white race is dominant, society tells us how to raise our children, society tells us if women should or should not stay at home with their children, and society tells us if a girl is being a slut.
The first article I chose to look at is White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Backpack by Peggy McIntosh. Peggy focuses on the idea that the privileged people of the world, in one way or another, are oppressing the lesser privileged people. Peggy McIntosh states, “As a white person, I realized I had been taught about racism as something which puts others at a disadvantage, but had been taught not to see one of its corollary aspects, white privilege, which puts me at an advantage.” I had never thought about race or gender in this aspect because society has not led me to think that way. We focus on being equal, but only if our status remains the same and the other people come to our level, we have never thought about stepping down to theirs. Many people reject this idea because who wants to be held accountable for another person’s oppression; it is a very hard concept to accept. Another point McIntosh made was, “whites are taught to think of their lives as a morally neutral, normative, and average, also idea, so that when we work to benefit others, this is seen as work which will allow ‘them’ to be more like ‘us.’ This is what I have been taught by my parents, school, and society since I was a small child. For some reason, society has put whites as the dominant race and every other race should work to be more like “us.” This article mostly focuses on race, but this idea is the same for men and women. Women are striving to be equal to men, we are trying to get on their level but they are not trying to meet us in the middle. Who wants to give up privileges they are born with? The most important thing I have learned from this class is how many things I have been taking advantage of for the past twenty-one years of my life. McIntosh lists twenty-six everyday privileges that white people receive only because of their skin color; for example, it could be something simple enough as a flesh-tone bandage, you never see any darker bandages for darker skinned people. I never thought about the extra privileges I receive from my skin color, gender, looks, age, etc. This class, and this article, have taught me to appreciate what I have been given and use it to benefit others. I know I can’t change the world by myself, but if society starts to change then people’s views will start to change with it.
The second article that impacted me this semester is The Will to Change by Bell Hooks. I was raised with two sisters, my mother and father. My household was definitely female dominated, and all of my extended family is also female. I had never thought how difficult it might be for young boys to express emotions or for parents to be worried about masculinity. I was raised in a family where the females were all the dominant figures of the household. This article has made me aware what parents of boys and the boys themselves go through growing up. However, this issue wouldn’t be so intense if it isn’t for society and the media. Bell Hooks focuses on patriarchal masculinity being the reason that young boys choose not to share emotions and end up getting into violence. Many parents are scared of their boys being too feminine or not masculine enough, and one of the biggest fears is homosexuality. Some people believe that if they teach their boy to be emotional and expressive that they could end up homosexual. Why do they think that? This is what society tells us, society says it isn’t normal for men to be weak and vulnerable, but they should be violent and strong. “To truly protect and honor the emotional lives of boys we must challenge patriarchal culture. And until that culture changes, we must create the subcultures, the sanctuaries where boys can learn to be who they are uniquely, without being forced to conform to patriarchal masculine visions,” states Bell Hooks. Feminists push for equality and they should push for the equal treatment of boys and girls; they should be raised with the same values. However, once again society tells us otherwise and we do nothing but listen.
The third article was probably the most talked about article in the media, The Opt-Out Revolution by Lisa Belkin. This article affected many women worldwide, whether they were working or stay-at-home mothers. Belkin proposed that the reason women are not holding as many as the high up jobs men have, is because they don’t want them. She said that most of these women would rather stay at home with their children than to move up on the career ladder. If they didn’t have the option to stay-at-home then they wanted a less stressful job that would allow them to have more time at home. This article interested me because I had no prior knowledge to this subject, it was yet another thing I had never thought or heard about. I understand what Belkin is saying, but I’m not quite sure she said it in the right way. Like many arguments to Belkin, not everyone has the option of staying home with their children because of financial difficulties. I was always told to go to school, make good grades, graduate and get a job; anything beyond that seemed too far in the future. Now I am twenty-one years old and getting closer to the “real world.” After reading Belkin’s article I started thinking about what I want for my family and myself. However, I have no idea what the future holds for me. Society tells me both are acceptable, but it is expected that I will stay home with the children rather than work. Society also tells us that the man should be the breadwinner and does not have the option of staying at home with the kids. In my opinion, it shouldn’t matter what men or women do with their lives, its only affecting them. I view it as if a woman or man wants to stay at home, then that’s their choice and I have no room to judge. Women who want to be in the work force and move up the career ladder will, if not then they will choose to raise their family. Society sends mixed messages, and I’m honestly confused about what I should do, it is a good thing I have quite a while to decide.
The fourth article I chose was Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. I related most to this article because I remember going through an awkward adolescent phase. As young girls mature, they definitely going through many phases, some better than others. Society starts to have more of an impact on young girls as they are exposed to television and magazines. I started becoming more aware of my looks in middle school, where in elementary school I wore T-shirts and shorts every day so I could play outside at recess. At middle school recess completely changed, it went from basketball and soccer to cliques and popularity. Reviving Ophelia suggests that “adolescent girls experience a similar pressure to split into true and false selves, but this time the pressure comes not from parents but from the culture.” Once again, culture tells us what is normal and how we should act.
The last article I chose was He’s a Stud, She’s a Slut by Jessica Valenti. This was my favorite reading throughout the semester because double standards are one of my biggest pet peeves. Her double standards included things such as: she’s a slut, he’s a stud, he’s a hero, she’s a damsel, he’s gonna be a success, she’s gonna be a stay-at-home mom, he’s a politician, she’s a fashion plate, he’s tough, she’s a tomboy, he’s successful, she’s a showoff, he’s a boss, she’s a bitch, he’s getting and education, she’s getting in his way, and he’s funny, she’s annoying. I’m sure everyone could think of hundreds more, but I feel that these cover a lot of ground. What I found most interesting was at the end of each segment she would have a part that says, “what to do,” and in almost each one it said do not let the media get away with this, write a letter to the editor, make sure the media is telling the truth, make sure their studies are accurate, etc. It just goes to show that once again society and the media are putting these ideas out there and we are following. Just as Valenti said, we can’t change the whole world but we can change the people around us. Start addressing friends who use these double standards or the local media who follows these. Women need to start standing up around the world to these ridiculous standards. We think we have come a long way, but we have so much further to go.
Each one of these articles was connected through the way our society has taught us to live, think and act. For example, whites are more powerful, men are better than women, young boys should be emotionless, girls lose themselves in their teenage years, women are sluts, etc. Every article basically blamed society and media for our views today, but how can you not? All of these things in the articles occur every day on the television, in magazines, on the internet and half men and women think nothing of it. Many of my friends have never even thought to be offended by women being viewed as sexual objects, and half of them would probably enjoy being those sexual objects. The things we see today and strive to be are not good role models. This class has taught me to realize what society has done to women and that I should start standing up for myself and the ones around me. I came into this class oblivious to women’s oppressions and came out of this class full of knowledge, this knowledge I can now take and teach my friends. I am still shocked at how little was taught to me about women’s studies in middle school or high school. I am glad I finally have gained the knowledge I need. This class has made me think about my future and what I should expect from it. I will be much more aware of how I will be treated in the workforce, and realize that I will have to work twice as hard as a man would. My future goal is to take it one step at a time and start with my girlfriends. I hope to pass on the knowledge I have gained through this class and make little changes in my friends lives to help women across the world.
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